What Are Third Spaces?

Community is a funny thing, because we all live in one.

From the towns and cities we occupy, the places we work, the neighbors we greet, the places we worship, and the spaces we visit. I like to think of community like a brain, and inside the brain, there's all these places we occupy, and the neurons and wiring that connects all of these places are the ways we glide through the community. Physically, this could be parks and trails, and the stores we stop by on the way home. But spiritually, it's the feeling of going from one place to another.

Are you anxious going to work?

Excited to go home?

Joyful to head to the local coffeeshop?

These feelings of these spaces are the indictors of how we feel connected to the community at large. Let's talk about these physical places and the concept of the third space.

What Is A Third Space?

In general, the first space is home.

The second space is work (or school for those younger folks).

The third space is everywhere else you can create community outside of the first two spaces.

This could be a coffeeshop, a park, bowling alleys, diners, etc...

When I think back on my days in high school, I was too old to go to the park, and too young to go to the bar (and living in a small town where we didn't have museums and places for young kids) so we met up with friends at bowling alleys, Applebee's after 9pm for half-priced apps, concert venues, and movie theaters.

On occasion we'd get into trouble by going to the park after sunset and playing hide-and-seek, or drive up and down the strip of town until we went to another friends house to play video games.

As an adult, these spaces are so important to building connection with the larger community around us. There are organic spaces like I mentioned before, like a coffeeshop, where you walk in, sit down, and read a book. After you do this enough, you may meet some friends there or invite some old friends there.

Some programmed spaces are those where you sign-up for something, like a tennis or softball league, a coin collecting club, book clubs, etc...these programmed spaces have a purpose.

Both of these spaces offer a great opportunity to connect with others. The former may atract you to connect with the general population while the latter is more important to build report with those who share the same interests as you.

Third Space Coffee in Bentonville, Arkansas

These spaces matter.

One space I want to promote here is Third Space Coffee in Bentonville, Arkansas.

I was semi-new to the community in Bentonville and met Brooke, the co-owner of the shop (alongside her husband Don and another coffee partner). We connected through the Instagram community and I loved her energy towards Northwest Arkansas's culture of art, cycling, running, and coffee. Her love of coffee led her to open the shop off of 8th Street, located inside the Best Friends Animal Society building.

Brooke is a community builder and she is a creative human who has traveled the world. In fact, she has a documentary about her travels abroad and her love of coffee, The Connected Cup.

She is well-versed in the idea of the third space and bringing that language and foundation to Bentonville is such a great example of finding the gap where people need connection and offering a place that makes sense to harbor new friendships over a warm drink.

If You’re Not Getting a Seat at the Table, Build Your Own Table

The quote above, "if you're not getting a seat at the table, build your own table" has been hovering in my mind the last couple of weeks. When it comes to third spaces, sometimes people look for a place to find connection and they have trouble connecting. Maybe they hate bowling or don't like coffee. They don't feel belonging in the community they have setteled into.

Maybe they are having a hard time finding a job.

Hopefully none of the above examples are the case. However, one thing you can do when you are having trouble finding a place at a table and it seems full or unwelcoming, is to build your own table.

This allows those who may have the same issues you are feeling to feel seen and connected. If you are from a different background and culture, and there's no place in your physical surroundings to feel seen, safe, or happy... it may be time to build that space for others.

For example, the Dooky Chase's Restaurant in New Orleans, established in 1939, became a symbol of Black refinement and excellence, serving as a safe haven for civil rights activists full of music, food, and culture that was welcoming to those who didn't feel welcomed elsewhere.

On a more personal level, Third Space Coffee made me feel welcomed when I didn't feel a connection at the time because everything was so new to me, but that space was warm, welcoming, and Brooke always took the time to check-in with everyone who visited. It wasn't just transactional, but she truly cares about her patrons.

If you love a hobby and don't see a local chapter or club, start something up. Put some flyers up. Plan some meet-ups at third spaces that exist like the library, coffeeshops, and parks.

This is your sign to start going into the community more and to build community where you see the gaps. This is your sign to take action and welcome your neighbors.

Visit Third Space Coffee in Bentonville and check them out online HERE

Listen to my podcast, Link Up With Larry, which is all about community and connection.